Confidence VS Conceit

Assalamualaikum, everyone~!

Is this the first post of the year? Well, that means a couple of updates! I'm already in ninth grade of Dar-Izzah (I still think I'm in seventh grade!); only one year before the huge exams, so I need to focus on my studies. It's sports month this month, and it's only been one day but I'm already sooo tired...

Anyway, let's jump into the topic. We had an in-class SRC election last week and I was one of the five candidates of Dar-Izzah Grade 9. If I'm not mistaken, I did mention about SRC being about leadership in a post from 2016. So the requirements for this post is confidence, and that gave me the idea for this post.

To clear up some misconceptions, confidence is a good trait. No, there is no confidence considered bad. There's only conceit and overconfidence. Now, people always mess up between confidence and conceit, as far as I know. People often mistake that saying "I'm beautiful" is showing off, getting the whole room to roll their eyes into the statement that they consider 'conceited'. But hear this--there is a fine line between these two characteristics that make them very distinct from each other.

First, let me confirm that confidence in this context means self-confidence. Confident in oneself that they can do something, or achieve something. According to the dictionary, self-confidence is defined as 'a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement'. This relates to self-pride, self-trust and self-esteem. Examples are the confidence to talk in front, the confidence of answering a question right, confidence in your physical abilities, decision-making, etc. Confidence is a trait of leadership, but confidence alone can't make one a good leader.

Now, if someone says "I'm smart," we may get two kinds of reactions--agreement and disagreement. There might be people who are positive and supportive of others having this kind of confidence, but there are still people who would roll their eyes, sigh, or even say otherwise, bringing down one's self-esteem. The person announcing their smart is only boosting their self-confidence. DO they still celebrate others' success? Yes they do. Are they overconfident in themselves? No, as far as we know.

Let's look at the dictionary definition for conceit: 'excessive pride in oneself.' This word is a synonym for vanity and narcissism, which both mean the same thing. Excessive pride. Yes, I did write self-pride as relevant to self-confidence, but this also often misunderstood. One can be proud of who they are or what they've achieved. Why do people think it's wrong? Because the envious backstabbers can't stop running their mouths. Just one simple utterance of pride can't even receive a tiny polite congratulations. An example of conceit is when you shove your victory into everyone's face, making sure everyone knows, and that you forget who gave you that victory; Allah SWT.

The difference between being confident and being conceited depends on how they express themselves when telling about their accomplishment. "I'm smart," and "I'm smarter than you," are two very different things. When upgrades the person saying it, while the other downgrades the person it's spoken to. Few notices this difference and they're quick to judge and stab others in the back. Truthfully, these envious people are the ones that lack confidence and self-esteem, as they focus on others' lives instead of theirs.

Let people be proud of their achievements, especially if they don't achieve much in their lives have always had low self-esteem. One of the ways you can support them is to back them up and celebrate their victory with them. The envious and jealous ones are fake friends that I advise you to stay away from. Close your ears form the haters, because you deserve to be proud of your achievements. Just remember who granted you with this blessing. That's right, Allah SWT, our Lord Almighty. He can take away blessings anytime he likes, and that is what will keep us from being overconfident or conceited. It is okay for you to say "Allah blessed me with a beautiful and healthy face, alhamdulillah," because that is the best confidence to have, both in yourself and in your Creator.

Now, do you understand the difference? Do you know what to do now? Boost your confidence in yourself and keep trying new things! Step out of that comfort zone! InsyaAllah, you will be a leader, a caliph, of the world; or even start as small as a leader of yourself. If you lack confidence and is always very shy and reserved, let me tell you that self-confidence can take you places. Participate in school events and competitions with a determination to win, a spirit to participate, and a spark of confidence that you are able to.

On a side note, if you find yourself to be one of the conceited ones, I understand that you are proud of yourself. But everything comes from Allah, and you need to be grateful for whatever you have been granted with. You don't need to announce to the whole world that you've got straight A's; keep it to yourself, or tell a few friends whom you trust. These achievements might be a test, and let's hope it's not an 'istidraj' from Allah, because that would mean you have done something terribly wrong.

For those who thinks confident people are conceited, here's my advice to you. Don't mistake confidence for what it's definitely not. If your friend got promoted instead of you, celebrate with them and congratulate them. They'll need the support. I'll tell you what the worst case scenario is if you backstab them, saying they're showing off or seeking attention: their self-esteem will drop, they'll get anxious of what they say and do in case they hurt someone's feelings, they'll get overly anxious and depressed, and they might even lose their own lives. I'm not saying that this will definitely happen, but this is the worst case scenario. So you'd better stop saying they seek attention, because they need your support.

Thank you for reading this post! See you next time~